One of the things the dating community talks about all the time is neediness. You will have heard it before - women don't find neediness (or "clinginess") terribly attractive. If you want to become more appealing to more women, you need to tackle this problem head on.

The dictionary defines neediness in a couple of ways. The first is of being financially poor - not having what you need to survive materially. That's not a concern in this circumstance, instead let's look at definition number two: needing emotional support, or being insecure.

If you hate the dictionary, it basically means that something in your life is missing, like you're not complete.

A lot of people turn to different things to try and fix this part of themselves. Indeed it's a reason why many people get into the dating game in the first place! Unfortunately though, excessive neediness will turn more woman away than being needy attracts, so it's a good idea to try and eliminate neediness from your life. At best you'll feel much better about yourself, and send more "positive vibes" out into the world.

I'm sure you can understand that for a women, being needy is a bit of a turn off.

So how do you stop being needy? How do you become more of a complete person? The simple answer is that you simply become a more interesting and passionate person. This doesn't mean that you take up rock climbing because you feel you need that particular skill to impress women, rather you get engaged in genuine, heartfelt passions.

You might take up a skill (like rock climbing), or get started in an awesome new hobby. You might decide to read inspiring and interesting books. Perhaps your friend circle could do with a shake up, and you could do with a few more great friends. You could get involved in causes that you feel passionate about, invest in businesses, learn to play an instrument, learn another language, travel, and start changing the world.

We feel needy as humans because there's something in our lives that's lacking. If you can investigate how to fill that yourself, you'll be more complete as a person, and become far more of a magnet than the needy version of you ever will be. Potential partners don't want to feel they will have to "carry" you through the relationship. No one wants to do that!

Most women find that complete humans are much more interesting and attractive than those that feel insecure. As a side benefit (if you could call it a side benefit!), you'll be more confident, happier, at peace and feeling more positive than ever before.

Be careful about doing things you're not. Don't fall into the trap of trying to impress women - trust me, they'll see straight through you. You don't need to become something you're not, so throw your ideas about the perfect women and what they're attracted to out of your head. It's weird - but taking time to focus on yourself is actually one of the best ways to get more serious about dating.

I put together a list of books I thought would benefit women and their quest for love. There are many more to name, but this are the ones that I found most intriguing and I hope you do too.

1. The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible
This is the ultimate dating roadmap. If you are looking for practical wisdom and knowledge, with a touch of humor, then this is the book for you. It'll teach you to claim your feminine power and be who you truly are. It covers everything from where to meet good men to how to keep a man worth keeping. Using a scientific and spiritual approach, Dr. Ali gives you what you need to know to get your man with his no nonsense approach.

2. Manifesting Love: Call Forth Your Soulmate
Using the law of attraction, Kathryn Alice uses spiritual teachings and meditation to help you manifest the person of your dreams. No detail or wants are too small and Kathryn will walk you through step by step to help you get your soulmate.

3. Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship

This is a very empowering book for women to be kind yet strong. This teaches women to not bend over backwards for their man and eventually lose their respect. This is a book that teaches you straightforward methods and techniques to ultimately not play games, put yourself first, and taking responsibility for your own health and well-being

4. Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online Dating to Meet My Match

This is a memoir of an insightful and brutally honest look at online dating from someone's personal experience. Amy web uses graph, lists, and pie charts to convey her ideas, which makes it easy to read. She gives to great advice on profile language and pictures so you can have high traffic to your page online. A great read for anyone who has struggled with online dating and wants to get better at it, or someone new to the online world and wants to avoid the same mistakes as her.

5. Manology: Secrets of Your Man's Mind Revealed

Reverend Run and Tyrese Gibson spills the beans in a tell all book to get to the bottom of what men really think and feel. Both people offer different points of views and offers you clear cut advice on what makes a relationship work and how it can tank in a heartbeat. It will teach you to weed out the players and cheaters so you can find good and honest men. These two stars in the media offer two completely different mindsets, but gives insights for you to truly understand men.

6. Make Every Man Want You: How to Be So Irresistible You'll Barely Keep from Dating Yourself!
Make yourself into a magnetic with men in a clear no-holds-barred manner. Her advice focuses on living in the now and making you the center of your life. She teaches you to be complete first before going to find someone. Otherwise you would be looking for your "other half or someone to "complete you". It can be that women need to hear, whether they like it or not.

7. The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted... But Chose to Ignore

An informative and humorous book on dating horror stories that will make you laugh and cry. This is a great look at the wrong things people do in relationships and not having the sense to notice or reacting to these signs sooner.

Dating is defined as a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the goal of each assessing suitability and probability of being in an intimate relationship. Dating is the prelude stage of a relationship where a couple will engage in social activities (dates) to find out if they are compatible enough to pursue an exclusive relationship. Many view dating as little more than friendship with the idea that two people are exploring whether they're well-suited for one another while they may or may not yet be having sexual relations.

Courtship is a more formal establishment of an agreed relationship, which precedes engagement and marriage. Traditional courtship practices have the man taking an active role to "court" a woman with the idea that his conduct serves as his intention to propose marriage. Courtship also enforces the restraint of physical intimacy until marriage which allows the couple to become acquainted in a more platonic setting without the distractions of intimacy and emotions interfering. Courtship is more elaborate and structured and often, the man will ask the woman's father for his approval to pursue his daughter before the process officially begins. Couples publicly announce their intentions and their families can be intricately involved in their progression, usually as way to help couple stay accountable to the commitment to each other.

While there are some similarities between dating and courtship, there are distinct differences that separate the two. Dating is more informal and has fewer restrictions regarding intimacy and the amount of partners one could "date" to find a potential long-term relationship. Within many western societies, gender roles have lost some of their significance as it is becoming more common and socially acceptable for women to initiate dating and finding potential mates. Courtship varies from dating in these areas by having specific boundaries around the process. The courtship is mutually exclusive, meaning that neither person can be courted by another during this time. This commitment is meant to nurture the courtship without the fear that one person is considering other partners. The main purpose of the courtship means that two people are seriously considering a future-focused relationship with the intent of marriage.

The landscape of dating and courtship has changed considerably, with the advent of numerous dating sites, social media, and the transformation of family dynamics. Also,the idea of sex and sexuality has become more open and is no longer taboo. People aren't as conservative about their sexuality and they are having more casual sex relationships than in previous years. Social attitudes have progressed from traditional standards about sex, and with improvements in contraception, people now view sexuality as a form of pleasure as opposed to archaic ideals that viewed it only as a means of reproduction. Also, popular media (television,music, etc... ) exaggerate how exciting being single and having multiple sexual partners can be, therefore contributing to the reason courtship practices have become obsolete.

Some believe that dating and courtship can and should coexist and people should use both when selecting potential relationship partners. By modernizing courtship methods to fit into the dating styles adopted today, one could have a better chance of selecting a long-term partner. Dating should be used as a way to see multiple people to determine which of them you are likely more compatible with. Dating a few people allows you the freedom to determine what type of person matches well with your personality, ideals and dreams. Once you think you may have found that person that best suits those needs, courtship can begin. Courtship shouldn't be the same antiquated process that was practiced in times past. Instead courtship is the period of time that a couple who is attracted to each other take their time to slowly get to know one another, to find out more about values and life goals, to learn about each others beliefs on money, religion and intimacy. This is the time where you truly get to know each other on a deeper level to decide if the connection can be sustained. If so, both people can have a greater sense of security about the relationship and might be more likely to contribute to its success.

Although we live in a time where instant gratification is expected, it's not surprising to see that the ideals of courtship have been replaced by rushed intimacy. However, there are still some that value courtship and its charming, old-fashioned principles which place higher significance on the steady growth and development of affection towards building a long-term relationship.

We all know Amazon as the website where people go to buy and sell their stuff, but despite its general purpose, Amazon can also be quite helpful when it comes to improving one's relationships. Consider for a moment the emails that Amazon regularly sends to its clients. These emails can really be quite useful, and I personally enjoy getting stuff from the mail, particularly if they come from useful sites, like Amazon.

As someone who regularly uses Amazon for transactions, I am always eager to see what new offers they have for me. This isn't confined to emails or special packages though. As human beings, we enjoy surprises, gifts and anything that comes in a nice package with a "for you" tag. This reaction can either be genetic or the result of chemical reactions in the human brain, but either way, people tend to get euphoric when they get something special.

Well, this principle is especially true among women, many of whom enjoy getting something from their boyfriends, lovers and husbands. Women and girls, in particular, love gifts because these simple objects represent a lot of nice emotions, which are otherwise left unsaid in a relationship.

Also, women love gifts because they are a type of gesture, and a lot of women do enjoy gestures because it flatters their sensibilities. So if you are to give your special someone a gift, she will appreciate it, not because it's valuable, but because it is emotionally gratifying to receive them. The important thing to remember here is that gifts have an emotional value, and you can use this to either strengthen your relationship or trigger an emotional response from the recipient.

Of course, this doesn't mean that you should give your girlfriend gifts regularly, nor does it mean that you should give her gifts just for the sake of it. What's truly important is that whenever you give someone a gift, the effects of that act are emphatic. Giving the right gift, at the right time, can do wonders for your relationship, particularly if you feel that your relationship is becoming stagnant or if she's becoming a little distant to you.

With regards to regularity, giving your girl a gift once a month can be very helpful to your relationship. You can either choose to give it personally or send it as a surprise to her workplace through mail, but either way, she will notice the gesture and that's what counts. Special gifts don't have to be expensive, but it shouldn't be junk either.

When you give someone a gift, you are showing that you know a lot about their preferences. If you really care for someone then they will expect you to know what they want and what they don't want. Even a $10 gift, like a DVD or a book, can have a big effect on a girl provided it's chosen tactfully. On the other hand, you're not going to get anywhere with a $100 gift that she doesn't like.

The point here is that gifts show that you care. It helps shows that you're paying attention, and as many of us know, women enjoy attention.

By the way, do you want the simple secret for approaching any woman, anywhere and know exactly what to say to get her number?

Indeed, one of the best foundations of your life is a solid and stable relationship. Healthy relationships enhance every area of your wellbeing, improve your quality of life, your thoughts, and your relationship with other people. On the other hand, when the relationship is not doing well, it may be a significant pressure and influence our lives in every area. There are similarities between investing in a business as well as investing in a romantic relationship. The more you invest, the more is the return of investment. The following pointers may help maintain the strength of a good relationship, or restore love and faith in a troubled relationship.

Looking for love and keeping a healthy relationship may be hard for some people. According to the experts, you must own a harmony of persistence, self esteem, and love to truly experience it. These 10 guidelines are the cornerstone for a nurturing and healthy relationship. Even a single person's endeavors can certainly produce a significant difference in a relationship. By simply concentrating on the following 10 strategies, your romantic relationship will certainly flourish for a long time.

1. Trust
Trust, related to honesty, eventually deepens with time. Partners need not contend with insecurities if they trust each other. They can communicate openly and stay who they are because they know their lover will love them for it.

2. Truthfulness
Truthfulness or honesty is among the most fundamental components of a healthy relationship. A profound and nurturing truthfulness involving a couple says, "Whatever happens, you shall always know the real me." This sort of perception enables the lovers to be transparent to and perfect for each other.

3. Forgiveness
Lovers that cannot meet halfway will split up. As basic as this may seem, if a relationship lacks forgiveness, past hurts usually reappear and both of them are not really willing to leave yesterday behind, resulting in the relationship coming to an end.

4. Time Away from Each Other
Couples need to have some time apart from each other. Being inseparable during the early stage of the relationship is natural, yet as time passes, they should cultivate diverse passions and lifestyle as a way to maintain consistent fascination with the relationship.

5. Communication
Couples should try to master the way to discuss both simple and tough problems. Arguments certainly are a natural part of any relationship. To survive through them, couples need to be able to honor their different approaches to communication and to "walk in their lover's shoes." This implies that you have to understand how to convey love in a manner that your lover feels and hears it.

6. Monogamy
Monogamy is amongst one of the important components of healthy marital relationships. It is impossible to have honesty and trust in the absence of monogamy.

7. Patience
If you can possibly cope with your spouse's flaws and his or her concerns with patience, you've got the key to survive the hard times. Marital unions do not end due to challenges; they end when spouses give up getting through those challenges!

8. Same Principles
If you make significant choices in life, both of you should share the same beliefs. It's possible you'll argue about a few concerns, nevertheless most of the happy couples are in agreement concerning the major matters such as finances and parenting.

9. Friendship
Partners must be friends and lovers at the same time. Once the obsession lessens, what keeps them together would be their friendship. Almost any long-time couple can confirm that it's the friendship which maintains their healthy union.

10. Passion
Lovers who remain passionate with each other are capable of preserving their love. Although this may change as time goes by, the center of all enduring relationships lies in the real passion for each other.

If you could build your ideal man, top to bottom, describe him...

Genuine.Safe. Kind.Loving. Loyal. Non-smoker of anything at all. Non-drinker.

Great hygiene, nothing smells better than clean. Okay maybe evergreens

Kissable lips and teeth. Warm, tender hands. Values love, friends, family and simple pleasures in life. Knows the difference between monogamy and mahogany

Stable and trustworthy, of solid character. Wouldn't hurt if he is good looking but looks aren't everything to me. Common sense, respect and intelligence are more important.

What do you find the most attractive part of man's body?

Eyes - In my observation, the way a man looks at or does not look at you usually tells you all you need to know about how he feels about you.

What qualities do you look for in a partner?

Oh dear. I think I just listed those above in question 1. Let me just add that qualities are more important than appearance. Appearance matters, yes, but for me it is more about basic common sense than particular traits (ie tall, dark and handsome). Short, sweet and winsome is fine if he is engaged in being genuinely whoever he is so that I can genuinely decide if I want his presence in my reality.

What do you want in a relationship?

Companionship. Connection. Life partner. Purity of intent on both sides. Bonding. Respect, honor and healthy communication. Someone to cuddle with and share the quiet times as well as socializing, family, etc Someone who accepts me just as I am, appreciates me without trying to change me. A man unafraid to speak to injustice who walks tall in life, integrity his way of being no matter what we do.

What do you consider a romantic evening?

Walking and talking is always an easy pleasure. From there holding hands and walking and talking, lol... or dinner or coffee together in a quiet corner where we can continue to enjoy and focus on one another. Or a night of dancing, love dancing... can dance for hours... Or a winter picnic with a thermos of mocha under the moon works, too

Do you like to be fed by your date?

It's awkward feeling to me, actually kind of annoying in public. The fork was so loaded some food landed on my dress but I politely complied where I should have politely declined instead of letting him fork it over in his "showy" way (yes, he is not "him" lol)

How many dates should a couple go on before they have sex?

That should be decided by the couple. There is no rule and no one should listen to anyone else because everyone has different thoughts, ideas and values on this very personal matter. For me, I cannot just hook-up and have sex. It is not and never will be who I am. Some have no problem with it and I can't judge them just because it doesn't work for me. We are all different and even the word "relationship" describes something different for all of us.

What do you think is the biggest mistake women make when dating?

Many women seem to forget that reality matters and they must not ignore the problems/alarm bells early on in a relationship. For example, if he criticizes you or anything to do with you in any way or is still focused on his ex or you are arguing at all in the first two weeks, see it clearly and decide whether this is something you want more of... instead of forging right on past the red flags just because your ideals or longing/emotional needs press you onward when your intuitive self knows better. I know because I did this. Getting in touch with yourself, being very clear about what you want is vital. Many men do not enjoy my clarity - or so they say in cold messages to let me know my standards are too high but they are not for me anyway. Be patient. Recognize that nothing is perfect and never will be. We really don't need perfect, we just need perfect for us. Stay grounded in reality, keep it classy. A male friend in our age group (40's - 50's) said he became very depressed seeing boob shots from obviously 50 something or older partied out women dressing like Brittany Spears wannabes. That made me feel very sad and yet said so much to me about valuing my own standards. Of course intimacy in relationships matters very much to me. Yet, I personally do not want to project that I am only about that. If men don't "read" my profile accurately, again, they are not for me.

... the biggest mistake men make?

Assuming anything about women/a woman or talking about all the women who still want them. I have talked to more assuming men online than anywhere else in my life. Years ago in a PR course, I learned the word "assume" means ASS of U and ME. It really does. Telling me about all the women who want you only tells me that you are either arrogant or insecure and I'm not up for those types anyway. I don't want to be needed but I do want to be wanted. Telling those men about all the men who still want you doesn't level the playing field at all, I found, they can't even hear us anyway. I probably blocked close to 500 men in the past three years on various dating sites. I really can't remember. Only a handful were actually interesting to talk to - so far - and seemed as genuine as their profiles as they were to converse with. Almost ready to give it up after three years of being single and finding so many wishy-washy on-the-fence attitudes out there. It really doesn't matter how many questionnaires dating sites have to improve their matching. Anyone can be anything they want on line. Illusions and delusions are rampant online. The real world exposes the real you. Be prepared for constant rejection if you are operating in an online persona that proves false over the telephone or in person. Keep it real. My retired Irish pilot friend seldom ever cusses but she did once when sharing an old family phrase "there's an arse for every seat." Keeping it real - what you REALLY want, photos of what you REALLY look like NOW - ensures your chances of a matching seat instead of wasting time. This basic respect applies to both genders though, really, in my opinion. Usually by the third email - emails directly from the man himself, not a question back and forth dating site gimmick that wastes my time because cons can out-con any machine - I can see for myself if I want to move to telephone or halt things right there.

Do you think it's possible to have a monogamous long term relationship, as in till death do us part?

Yes. The commitment has to be from both sides. That's the only glitch these days. People are often too busy wondering what they've missed out on instead of appreciating what they've found is what I have discovered. More men I spoke with and/or met eyeball to eyeball came back to say things like "you were so real," "you were the best woman I met on here" or "I should never have let you go" etc but I am not priority number nine and will not settle for someone who can't see who I am in the first place. I know what I want in a man and I'll know when I find him, instead of doubts and questions in my mind arising, I will calmy, quietly know.The "online-drive-through-human-smorgasbord-mentality" seems to be highly addictive to many who cannot disengage from their gadgets and machines long enough to even forge a real world connection let alone build a meaningful relationship. Another guy friend tells me that women are just as slippery about any commitment in the real world ranging from reluctance to actually meet in the real world to thinking they will miss a better person if they leave the online world behind - as I have found many men to be. That said, I still believe if both parties are truly committed to one another, it can last forever. It takes work but loyally married for three decades I know what that work looks like - it's not as hard as we think if a couple is truly a team as anyone who has been in a long term relationship knows

How does a couple, who's been together a long time, keep the spark in their relationship?

In my opinion, both need to remember that nothing will ever be like it was. But bonding continues at deeper levels if both are willing to truly continue building and work together to overcome challenges. This is the foundation I have seen again and again in lasting relationships. We are all human and when we open our mouths, our brain rolls out like it or not. Our actions also prove whether or not we walk our talk. If we see something unpalatable or questionable in the opening act, so to speak, lol, we have every right to register our observations or question what we see in order to make healthy decisions for ourselves. Going blindly into a relationship based on whatever is going on inside our own heads is a portent for disaster - in any relationship - even friendship as I have painfully discovered. Know what you want going in because it is the bond you build that will get you through the relationship tests. Flames of love can always be rekindled or reach higher is my personal belief... if we don't snuff out the spark with our own fantasies and unrealistic expectations.

What do you consider a romantic song?

Bruno Mars - It Will Rain

Madonna - Crazy For You

Spandau Ballet - True

Who's your favorite celebrity crush?

Oh boy, this is difficult. I'm not much on the world of fame/celebrities so I am truly struggling. If I can think of someone, I'll get back to this question later.

What's a typical night with Aurora?

Boring, lol. Quite a home body at night, I usually do chores, fix some dinner (sometimes yogurt or cereal), write, read, perhaps watch a movie or catch up on the phone with friends. Not into texting or having gadgets wired to my butt - prefer quiet simplicity and living pretty but pretty simply. Social media maintenance is probably the most complex thing I do, try not to get stuck there because I start resenting time lost to "machines." Write anything from poetry and blog(s) to poetry on my blog. A walk if weather permits and in summer a park visit, a sea side stroll or just reading on the patio listening to breeze- inspired leaf song. Still, if the right company arrived, I might say "let's go say goodnight to the stars" at midnight

When you sleep, do you prefer jammies or in the buff?

Personally I prefer pj's - I think it's mother programming, "always make sure you have clean underwear in case you get in an accident" - as if we would care about that if we were in an accident, lol. I am situation dependent just as with my eclectic taste in music. If a partner appears I may wear a more feminine gown or robe or... who knows... everyone is different but a regular night will find me in regular pj's or a man's oversize cotton T summer nights

Dating is difficult at any age. We hope as we grow older and mature, it will be easier. We have all seen that with maturity comes baggage that taints our actions and decisions. Are you having success at dating? If you have a secret, I'd love for you to share!